HB V

is older than it's ever been and now it's even older

5/29/2001

Only I can call her "Skunko"


Maggie and I are back from our camping trip to Canada. Interesting observations:

Moose are big. Porcupines move slowly and are bigger than I thought. Mike's Hard Lemonade is an entirely different product in Canada than our side of the border. (Canadians definitely get the better deal, too. American MHL is a 5.7% alcohol by volume malt beverage that is a disconcertingly milky white color. This isn't that weird until you put it next to the Canadian MHL, which is a 7.0% alcohol by volume vodka spiked beverage that is a yellow color. Basically, Matt [Krista's B-friend] brought a sixer of MHL that was liked, and so went into town to buy more and bought Canadian MHL; we had a couple left and so could compare.) Stoned Wheat Thins brand grilled pepper (Poivrons Grilles, en française) are the best crackers on earth. Kit Kats taste better in Canada. Canadian highway 502 is a bad, bad, road. Important: Avoid drinking Bushmill's whisky straight from the bottle. The strong US dollar is a good thing. And most importantly, never let your dog go after a skunk. I guess I have to explain that one.

We were there for three days. It rained every day, and was not exactly ideal conditions. On the last night, we were considering turning in, and we heard a noise over by our tent. All flashlights in the area were rapidly turned that way, and sure enough, a black and white visitor was spotted. It wasn't going anywhere fast, despite our "HOLY CRAP! IT'S A SKUNK!" shouts. At this time, Relffits was sitting in my lap dozing. When she heard the commotion, she shot out of my arms like a bat out of hell. I did have her leash attached, but unfortunately, her collar was not affixed very tightly. With a deft forward and back move, she slipped out of the collar and after the intruder. The skunk ran away into the darkness, our dog in hot pursuit. I was shouting for Relffits to return, but she didn't. When I went over to the tent area, a putrid cloud hung over the area, and I knew it was bad. Relffits returned a very sad and sorry looking dog. She was immediately tossed in the lake and washed twice with Herbal Essences shampoo, but the damage was done. Fortunately, the skunk hit was a glancing blow; it is my theory that Relffits pounced on the skunk, causing the skunk to run hard and discharge, and Relffits ran through the area on the forest floor that was freshly skunkified. This is why her right front paw seems to be the skunkiest portion of her anatomy. As I told Maggie, if she had gotten sprayed in the face, she would have ridden home in a garbage bag with a hole cut for ventilation. As it is, she still smells pretty bad, but at least she hasn't contaminated our car/house/carpet with that smell. It is very localized. Because of this, I started calling her "Skunko," but after a while Maggie got afraid I was going to either traumatize her with this moniker or she would start to answer to it, so I have attempted to call her that only when she isn't in the room.

Bush Lynx

As part of my never-ending quest to chronicle the Jenna and Barbara Bush on the Web phenomenon, it is my duty to share with you the How to Raise Christian, Republican Young Ladies page on the Betty Bowers site. This is the most hilarious, spot-on, MEAN site I've ever seen devoted to Laura/Jenna/Barbara. Meaner still is the Laura Bush Guide to Republican Glamor, which mercilessly skewers the First Lady for her terrible choices in outfits. Via the best damn blog from the Philippines (that I've read), Cheesedip.

And then there's the Bushblog, a blog that is done from the viewpoint of GWB. It is somewhat childish and predictable, but good for some funny links, like the collection of Bushisms.

Example: "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." -George W. Bush, declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001

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